46-year-old Bae Yoon-jung experiences miscarriage 3 months after attempting IVF for a second child

Choreographer Bae Yoon-jung confessed that she experienced the pain of a miscarriage after attempting in vitro fertilization (IVF) to have a second child at the late age of 46. Although she suffered from depression after giving birth to her first child, she could not easily give up her desire for a second because she felt the happiness of childbirth more deeply than anyone else. However, facing the wall of reality that is difficult to overcome with only earnest wishes, she eventually made a new decision.

Bae Yoon-jung shared her honest thoughts on childbirth and parenting in the KakaoBank channel video titled 'Is Marriage and Childbirth Essential? Or a Choice? | Donki Taka' released on the 8th. While disclosing that she suffered from depression after giving birth, she said, "The best thing I have ever done in my life was having my child." She explained that although she went through a difficult time after childbirth, the happiness the child provides is just as great.

Bae Yoon-jung spoke of both the hardships and the joy of parenting, saying, "It is hard to be attached to a child who cannot even speak all day, but they give that happiness tenfold." She added, "Of course it is hard, but what I receive is greater," and "I have often told my friends that even though my child is pretty, it is hard. But you cannot experience these emotions in life [otherwise]." She suggested that while parenting is by no means easy, the emotions experienced while raising a child are difficult to replace with anything else.

Her feelings toward children have changed even more compared to the past. Bae Yoon-jung recalled that before marriage, she did not particularly like children, saying, "No matter how much I liked my nieces and nephews, after 20 minutes, I would tell them to go away." When Kim Ho-young remarked, "People like this are sometimes the ones who consider having a second child," Bae Yoon-jung empathized with the changed mindset after childbirth, saying, "Only those who have given birth know that."

During this time, Bae Yoon-jung revealed that she prepared for IVF again early this year to have a second child. She stated, "I will be 50 the day after tomorrow, but I prepared for IVF again early this year," and "My thought was, let's not regret it, let's do it until we've tried everything." Given her age, there must have been hesitation, but it seems she did not want to give up without even trying.

However, after about three months of effort, instead of the awaited result, she experienced the pain of a miscarriage. Bae Yoon-jung confessed, "When I actually faced the difficult situation, I just let it go." This is not because she lacked desire for a second child, but because while actually preparing for the procedure and going through the difficult process, she came to reflect on her own situation. It is interpreted that along with the sense of loss that comes when something earnestly desired does not go as planned, the mindset of not pushing further is also established.

It was not only the pain of miscarriage that made Bae Yoon-jung hesitate. She confessed that while undergoing IVF, contrary to her desire to have a child, she worried about what to do if she actually succeeded in getting pregnant. Her words, "I wouldn't be able to work again, and I was worried about kindergarten expenses. I wondered how my husband would handle it alone," contained realistic concerns about the changes in work and the economic burden after childbirth.

While feeling the happiness of giving birth more deeply than anyone else, Bae Yoon-jung could not ignore reality when faced with the issue of starting childbirth and parenting again. Her confession, which honestly revealed her desire for a second child, the pain of miscarriage, and worries about her family's future, showed a reality that is difficult to explain simply by the desire or choice of childbirth. Just because the love for a child is great does not mean the worries disappear, and sometimes letting go of an earnest desire can also be a difficult decision made after long deliberation.

Read the original (Korean)