Choi Soo-jong ♥ Ha Hee-ra: The Story Behind Their 33 Years of Marital Bliss, "If It Weren't for the Four Miscarriages"

Even for Choi Soo-jong and Ha Hee-ra, who are considered a representative loving couple in the entertainment industry, there were pains that were difficult to share easily with anyone. Choi Soo-jong, who has shown unchanging affection throughout his married life, confessed the reason why his attitude toward treating his family changed, mentioning his wife's experience of four miscarriages. While they always appeared to the public as a sweet and happy couple, behind that image were deep wounds they had to endure in the process of becoming parents and the time they spent enduring them together.

Appearing on tvN's 'You Quiz on the Block' broadcast on the 14th, Choi Soo-jong expressed his honest thoughts regarding the evaluation that even Artificial Intelligence (AI) has recognized him as a representative romantic in the entertainment industry. In response to a question regarding whether the image of a romantic is burdensome, he said, "It is actually better to live with that burden," adding, "It's better because it guides me toward a more righteous path." He explained that rather than regarding the expectations of those around him as a burden, he accepts them as an opportunity to reflect on himself and become a better husband.

Choi Soo-jong confessed that the four miscarriages experienced by Ha Hee-ra influenced his changed demeanor. He said, "If it weren't for Ha Hee-ra's experience of four miscarriages, my appearance might have been similar to other husbands," and "I might have just been a 'typical male breadwinner' who works hard outside and looks after his wife and children at home." It was a confession that he might have thought he fulfilled his role as a husband and father simply by working for the family and being responsible for the livelihood.

What he realized was how precious children are, and the fact that they are independent individuals before being their parents' children. Choi Soo-jong explained that while experiencing the pain of miscarriage, he came to think more deeply about the existence of children, and as much as that, he treated Ha Hee-ra well and worked harder for the family. He stated that the painful experience changed even his way of expressing love and his attitude toward treating his family. Behind the image of Choi Soo-jong, who has shown consistent affection for a long time, there was an enlightenment gained through personal pain.

Ha Hee-ra has also confessed to difficult times surrounding pregnancy and childbirth in past broadcasts. She revealed that she experienced a total of four miscarriages: three times before having her first child six years after marriage, and once before having her second. She confessed that it was so difficult at the time that she even considered quitting her acting career due to the thought that she might not be able to have children. For the two, the process of obtaining children was not simply a time of waiting, but a time where they had to repeatedly endure hope and frustration.

This experience also influenced Choi Soo-jong's parenting style. He has revealed that rather than regarding children as objects that must move according to the parents' will, he tried to respect them as independent individuals, and he has even used honorific language toward his children. He placed importance on respectful language and attitudes even within the family. His view of family, which is difficult to explain only with the nickname "romantic," was rooted in the experience of loss shared with his wife and the realization of the preciousness of life.

In this broadcast, Ha Hee-ra also mentioned the external views and absurd rumors surrounding their 33-year marriage. She surprised many by revealing that there are many people curious about whether the couple actually gets along well, and there were even rumors that Choi Soo-jong would drink, hit her, and then hold an event because he felt sorry. The image of the husband, who is famous for his expressions of affection and events for his wife, actually became the subject of groundless stories. She could not hide her absurdity in that rumors circulated that were completely different from the image the two have actually shown.

Since their newlyweds days, the gaze of those around them always followed. Ha Hee-ra recalled that when they walked holding hands, they would hear, "They even hold hands outside," and when they walked without holding hands, they would be asked, "Did the two of you fight?" She said that no matter what they did, people interpreted the couple in the way they wanted to see. Ultimately, rather than caring about every single reaction from others, the two decided to live in their own way. Ha Hee-ra said, "Since people see whatever we do in the way they want to see, it has already been 33 years since we decided to live according to our truth."

In particular, the two were very careful so that the words of those around them would not hurt their children. Ha Hee-ra shared that she told her children, "No matter what stories you hear, the Mom and Dad you see is the truth." It meant to believe in the relationship they directly experienced and confirmed, rather than being shaken by the world's evaluation and rumors about their parents. Not only protecting the couple's love, but also ensuring that the children are not swayed by external views was also an important task for the two.

Choi Soo-jong and Ha Hee-ra, who have a 7-year age difference, married in 1993 and have one son and one daughter. During the long period of 33 years, the two have attracted attention through expressions of affection while also having to endure excessive interest and rumors at times. The pain of four miscarriages became an opportunity to rethink the preciousness of family, and the determination not to be shaken by external views became a principle the couple has kept together. Behind the image of a loving couple who always seems happy, there was time built by understanding and respecting each other's pain.

Read the original (Korean)