Bae Young-man: 20 years of solo parenting after losing his daughter

Comedian Bae Young-man has opened up about his family history, revealing how he divorced and raised three children alone for the past 20 years following the sudden loss of his young daughter. For a broadcaster whose profession was providing laughter, the loss of a family member led to a tragedy that shattered his home. In the process, his intense sense of responsibility to protect his children sometimes manifested as excessive strictness. Having recently reconciled with his eldest son, Bae reflected on his parenting methods and expressed his regrets.

On the MBN program 'Scoop World' aired on the 3rd, Bae revealed the story of his divorce approximately 20 years ago. He stated that after receiving news that his wife had collapsed, he rushed to the hospital only to find that his young daughter had already passed away. His recollection, "My daughter, who was smiling brightly in the morning, was dead," captures the raw shock left by the sudden loss. Following this, the conflict between the couple intensified, eventually leading to divorce and leaving Bae to raise the three children alone.

Life after the divorce was essentially a struggle for survival. Raising three children alone, Bae had to fulfill the roles of both the head of the household and a parent simultaneously. At the time, he chose to become even stricter with his children. In particular, he held high expectations for his eldest son, Bae Gang-min, and maintained intense discipline. However, he later realized that the control he exercised under the guise of parental love could be perceived as oppression by his children.

The relationship with his eldest son eventually fractured significantly three years ago. Bae Gang-min was hurt by his father's coercive attitude and left home, cutting off all contact between the two. Reflecting on his past, Bae noted that as he accepted the reality that his child would not move according to his will, "it feels like the same pattern is being passed down, just as I caused a lot of heartache for my own father." After Bae Gang-min made the first move to call him, the father and son were able to begin talking again.

Even after the reconciliation, Bae's worries persisted. Bae Gang-min, who is currently working toward his dream of becoming an actor, is not yet widely known to the public and is also facing marriage to his Japanese girlfriend. While there is a possibility of another clash between the father's realistic perspective and the son's choice to forge his own path as an actor, what has changed is that Bae no longer believes his way is the only right way.

The father and son gradually released their long-held emotions while traveling together. During the trip, Bae bowed his head and said, "I endured because I felt like I couldn't live without the children, but I am sorry because I think I only barked at them in the name of love." He admitted that his desperation to not lose the remaining children after losing his daughter actually resulted in creating distance between him and his children.

Bae entered the entertainment industry through the 1983 MBC Gag Contest and became well-known in the broadcasting industry during the 1980s and 1990s with catchphrases such as "Is that right?" After appearing in comedy programs like 'Sunday Night Grand March' and 'Youth manse,' he expanded his acting range with works such as 'Rustic Period,' 'Jang Gil-san,' and 'Love in the Jujube Tree.' Contrary to his professional image of creating laughter, in his personal life, he had to endure the death of a family member, divorce, and the years spent raising children alone.

Beyond the loss of his family, his life has seen various ups and downs, including a battle with laryngeal cancer. Having later found faith, Bae studied theology and continued pastoral activities; he was reportedly ordained as a pastor in 2024. His life, which has expanded from comedian to actor and then to pastor, shows a trajectory that is difficult to explain solely by his professional identity as a broadcaster.

Ultimately, the most significant change in this broadcast is not just the fact that Bae's family history was newly revealed, but that he re-evaluated his past as a parent. When parental standards are forced upon children simply because of love, that love can turn into control. Bae belatedly admitted that the strictness he chose to survive after losing his daughter could have become another wound for his eldest son.

A father who raised three children alone for 20 years and a son who sometimes perceived that father's love as oppression sat face-to-face once more. While the past cannot be turned back, an apology and a conversation can serve as a starting point for remembering the past in a different way. Bae's apology during this trip was a moment where a father, who lived entirely for his children, redefined his love.