Im Lara reveals 'paradox of marriage' nine months after twin birth

Comedian Im Lara revealed that her relationship with her husband, Son Min-su, has changed significantly since the birth of their twins. Before giving birth, she had expressed confidence, saying, "The couple will be the center, not the child first," but reality proved different from her expectations. As most of her day is consumed by childcare, even when the couple sits down to eat, they look at their respective mobile phones; recently, it has even become more natural to ask each other how they have been doing while on a filming set.

In particular, Im candidly disclosed the physical and emotional changes she has faced since childbirth. She confessed that her entire life has been reorganized around childcare, citing concerns about her weight and appearance, a sharp decline in vision, and an increase in verbal slips.

On the 19th, a video titled "I didn't know before having a baby... Comedians' talk on pregnancy, childbirth, and childcare involving 39+ topics" was released on the YouTube channel 'Hongsseun TV.' During the episode, Hong Hyun-hee, along with Im Lara, Go Eun-young, and Kim Jin-ju, discussed daily life following pregnancy and childbirth.

Im is currently about nine months postpartum with her twins. She described her current life as being in a state of extreme, normalized fatigue, saying she "falls asleep the moment her head touches the pillow."

She went as far as to say, "I can't even think about losing weight," and "Lately, I don't even have a brain."

Her remarks went beyond simple childcare struggles, illustrating how an individual's time and identity shrink after childbirth. Especially when raising twins, where sleep deprivation and caregiving labor occur simultaneously, the physical leeway available to the individual inevitably disappears.

Watching this, Hong Hyun-hee recalled the time when Im filmed with her before giving birth.

According to Hong, Im had confidently said back then, "The baby won't come first; the two of us will have a hot love and we will be the center."

Hong drew laughter by saying that upon hearing those words, she thought, "Fine. Go ahead and give birth.""

It is a scene that accurately shows the gap between romantic expectations before childbirth and the reality of parenting.

Im also admitted that there is now a significant difference between her past self and her current self.

Regarding her relationship with Son, she asked rhetorically, "How long has it been since we had a conversation?" and added, "Even when the two of us eat, we use our phones."

What is even more significant is her explanation that this happened recently during a mukbang (eating show) filming.

Im confessed, "Recently, while filming a mukbang, I asked [him], 'How have you been lately?'"

It is a story of how daily conversation has decreased to the point where a couple living in the same space every day must ask about each other's recent status just for the sake of filming.

This does not mean that affection between the couple has disappeared. Rather, it is a result of the role of 'parent' taking center stage, as the shared task of childcare occupies most of the relationship, overshadowing the relationship as a 'couple.'

This is a common shift in relationships for couples who experience childbirth. While emotions and daily life were the center of conversation during the dating and newlywed periods, after a child is born, practical caregiving tasks such as feeding, sleeping, weaning, hospital visits, diapers, and schedules take up most of the dialogue.

In other words, the language of love changes into the language of lifestyle management.

Im also reported that her husband's condition is quite exhausted as well.

She described it by saying, "Min-su's eyes have become like dead fish eyes.""

Hong Hyun-hee also shared her own experience, empathizing with the hardships of raising twins by saying, "Even one is so hard.""

Following this, Hong emphasized the importance of sleep after childbirth. She said, "My biggest regret is that everyone around me kept telling me to sleep, and I said, 'Why? The baby is so pretty?' But I really should have slept.""

In childcare, sleep is not just simple rest, but a core resource for maintaining the physical and mental functions of parents. Accumulated sleep deprivation can lead to a decline in concentration, memory, and emotional regulation. Im's expression that she "doesn't have a brain" can be seen as a way of humorously depicting this state of extreme fatigue.

What drew even more attention from her confession was how she distinguished between 'self-esteem as a mother' and 'self-esteem as an individual.'

Im said, "To be honest, since it's my first time becoming a mother, I don't even know how I feel—it's like I gave birth to my brain along with the baby. Lately, I make so many verbal slips and my self-esteem fluctuates.""

She added, "My self-esteem as a mother is high, but my self-esteem as an individual is low.""

This statement intuitively illustrates the identity shift women can experience after childbirth. While they may feel confident in caring for their child, the reduction in capacity to care for their own appearance, professional achievements, or personal desires can lower their satisfaction as individuals.

Im also spoke candidly about her changing body, mentioning weight concerns.

"It's not just about weight," she said. "It's like the baby took nutrients not just from me, but from my very pupils.""

She continued, "My vision dropped sharply. It's not even 0.5 right now. I can't function without glasses.""

While Im's expressions were delivered humorously, they contain complex emotions regarding the loss of bodily autonomy following childbirth and intensive childcare. Raising twins is significantly more demanding than raising one; when one child sleeps, the other often wakes, and if their feeding and sleep cycles do not align, parental recovery time is virtually non-existent. When combined with economic activities and filming schedules, physical exhaustion is inevitable.

Im and Son have long communicated with the public through their YouTube channel 'Enjoy Couple,' sharing their journey from dating to marriage. Their content has stood out from typical celebrity couple content by openly documenting the evolution of their relationship.

Because of this, her confession feels particularly grounded in reality. While public perception of marriage often falls into the dichotomy of 'loving couples' versus 'conflicting couples,' real marriage is far more complex. Couples can love each other deeply yet lack the energy to talk, or find themselves pushed to the periphery of their own lives while focusing entirely on their children.

Im's brief admission that they "don't talk even when eating" is significant. It does not necessarily signify a lack of affection, but rather a radical shift in life priorities from the couple to the child.

This is the paradox of marriage: to raise a child, a couple must cooperate more closely, yet the energy required to care for that child often leaves them with fewer resources to maintain their relationship as a couple.

Im and Son once dreamed of a "couple-centered home," but in the face of the heavy reality of twin childcare, they have temporarily set those dreams aside. However, this is not necessarily a sign of a broken relationship. The fact that Im is speaking openly about these changes suggests that the couple is aware of their situation. In marriage, crises are often more severe when changes are ignored rather than when they occur.

Ultimately, Im's confession is more than just celebrity gossip; it reflects a universal reality. Childbirth is a miraculous event, but it is also one that fundamentally reshapes a parent's time, body, resources, and identity. For Im, facing the intense demands of twins, her exhaustion and the lapse in marital conversation are not a lack of will, but a result of a completely restructured life.

What Im and Son may need now is not a forced attempt to restore their pre-childbirth romance, but a new way to see each other as a couple even after becoming parents.