Han So-hee on breakups: 'He just entered and left my life'

Actress Han So-hee has drawn attention by candidly sharing her perspective on dating and breakups. Her philosophy is that even if a relationship ends, one's sense of self-worth should remain unshaken. Her message emphasizes the importance of maintaining an independent identity rather than depending heavily on a partner for one's sense of purpose.

On the 28th, Han was asked about her ideal type and views on romance during a video released on the YouTube channel "Absolutely Nothing Prepared." She identified a "secure type" as her recent ideal, stating, "Internally, I like the secure type these days." She explained that she is also striving to become a secure person herself, adding, "In the end, I feel like if I am a secure person, a secure person comes to me."

The stability she refers to does not seem to mean simply having few emotional fluctuations or being kind to a partner. It is closer to a state of being able to maintain one's center within a relationship and existing as an independent individual alongside a partner.

In particular, Han expressed her clear stance on how to handle the departure of a loved one.

"If I cherish myself, even if this person leaves me, because I exist as an independent subject, it means this person entered and left my life, not that they abandoned me," she said.

This means she refuses to accept the end of a relationship as a negation of her own value. She intends not to let a partner's choices determine her very existence. She has essentially redefined a breakup not as being "abandoned," but as an event where a person stays in one's life for a time and then departs.

She also mentioned that when she feels she is not receiving enough affection during a relationship, she chooses dialogue over emotional confrontation. Han explained, "I say things specifically, like 'I feel like your interest in me is a bit lacking; why don't we both make an effort?'"

However, she set a boundary: if a partner refuses to engage in dialogue, she will not hold onto lingering feelings. "If the partner says, 'I love you, isn't it strange that you think that way?' then I give up at that point," she stated. Rather than unilaterally persuading a partner regarding the level of affection, she uses the willingness to communicate and adjust feelings as a crucial criterion for the relationship.

She also expressed that instead of forcefully demanding love that is not being provided, one can fill that void by taking care of oneself. "I think it can be that way, and I can just fill myself with the love that isn't being provided," Han said, noting that eating good food, seeing beautiful things, and living her daily life are ways she practices self-love.

The core of Han's message is the boundary between romance and the self. She cautioned against situations where dating consumes one's entire existence, saying, "I think it breaks the moment that person occupies more than half of my life."

She believes that while love is an important part of life, it should not replace one's identity or daily routine.

In modern dating, this attitude aligns with the concept of "emotional independence." It is a way of maintaining intimacy without entirely entrusting one's value judgments and personal life to a partner. The key is recognizing oneself as an independent individual, regardless of the relationship's status.

As Han has faced significant public interest regarding her past relationships, her remarks are perceived as more than just a simple talk about ideal types. She emphasized that one must not link a failed relationship to self-negation and must continue living one's life even after a breakup.

Ultimately, for Han, the essence of dating is not solely about "how much one is loved." It is about whether one can avoid losing themselves while loving, and whether one can continue to live after the love ends. To use her expression, a breakup is not an act of being abandoned, but a process where someone enters one's life and then leaves again.

"You have to maintain a good balance," she emphasized. This does not mean giving up on love, but rather not giving up on oneself because of it. Her message is that a healthy relationship is not two people becoming one, but two people with complete individual lives who respect each other's worlds while being together.