Actress Oh Cho-hee: 'It's like talking to a wall, we might divorce'

Actress Oh Cho-hee broke into tears as she confessed the loneliness and resentment she felt toward her husband during the process of childbirth and parenting. Her confession—that she feels emotionally disconnected from her husband even after giving birth to twins, despite enduring infertility treatments and a grueling pregnancy—evoked deep sympathy.

In the episode of MBC's 'Oh Eun Young's Report Marriage Hell' aired on the 10th, Oh, who is a mother of twins in her third year of marriage, appeared alongside her lawyer husband to reveal the deepening conflict between them.

The couple married after dating for seven months and subsequently welcomed precious twins. However, they are currently a weekend couple living 340 km apart. The husband works in Seoul, while Oh stays in Gwangju, Jeonnam, with her mother to care for the 80-day-old twins.

Oh, who essentially cares for the two children alone all through the weekdays, appealed that her husband does not devote enough heart to parenting and the children. On the other hand, the husband explained that due to the nature of his profession as a lawyer, he has a heavy workload and it is realistically difficult to focus on the children.

However, the problem Oh felt was not simply about the division of childcare. It was that the very emotions her husband showed toward the children were too different from her own.

Oh confessed that she experienced a miscarriage before giving birth to the twins.

Recalling those times, she said, "Because I was so sad and desperate to have a child, I went to an infertility center immediately," adding, "I became pregnant one year after starting treatment at the center."

The pregnancy process was also not smooth. She revealed that she had to be hospitalized for about a month and a half due to symptoms of preeclampsia, and her swelling was so severe that it reached her soles, requiring the use of a wheelchair.

Because the children were born after enduring such difficult times, the twins were irreplaceable to Oh.

"I didn't know before giving birth, but after they were born, they were even more beautiful and precious than I thought."

She said she naturally assumed her husband would feel the same way. However, when she asked him one day if he missed the children, she received an unexpected answer.

Oh revealed, "When I asked, 'Do you think of the kids? Don't you miss them?' my husband replied, 'No, I'm working, so I don't think about the kids. I have to focus on work, so I don't miss them.'"

Those words remained as a wound to Oh that went beyond a simple answer.

"I couldn't believe what my husband said. So I asked him several times, but he said he doesn't miss them and doesn't even think about them," she said. "I was truly disappointed."

She continued to express her frustration over the reality that her twins cannot spend enough time with their father, saying, "I'm so envious of other children who receive a lot of love from their fathers and see their fathers often."

The husband explained that his words did not mean he lacked love for the children.

"Even that day, I had so much work that I was constantly taking calls and moving around," he explained. "I can think of the children in between tasks, but I couldn't go as far as thinking 'I miss them.'"

However, it was not easy for Oh to accept her husband's logic.

Since giving birth, her body had not even had time to recover properly. She cared for the two children all day long while wearing braces on her waist and wrists, and even suffered from shingles and mastitis.

Recalling that time, she said, "It was so painful that I can barely remember. It felt like I was hovering between life and death."

The physical pain was not the only thing that was difficult.

Oh confessed that she felt pain as if she were being cut with a knife, yet she did not even hear the words "Are you okay?" from her husband. Rather, the fact that her husband told the children, "Mom is sick so she can't breastfeed, what should we do?", further increased Oh's resentment.

Ultimately, her emotions collapsed, and Oh poured out her long-suppressed feelings along with tears.

"It feels like I am talking to a wall when I am with my husband."

And she added, "At this rate, we might end up divorcing."

The conflict between the two seems difficult to explain with a simple calculation of who worked more or who did more childcare. This is because one side feels they have alone endured the pain leading up to childbirth and the physical limits after birth, while the other side accepts that working for the family itself is their responsibility.

In the end, the core of the conflict emerged as the mismatch between the 'role of the family' and the 'expression of love' that the two share.