Wife seeks divorce after 19 years of marriage due to caregiving burden

An 18-year-old daughter applied for a counseling program on tvN STORY's 'Lee Ho-seon's Counseling Center' after witnessing her mother's desire for divorce. The wife, who has spent years managing her husband's treatment for bile duct and cellular cancer, expressed feeling isolated after never receiving a single word of thanks from him.

A wife who has been caring for her husband during his battle with cancer broke into tears, expressing her desire for a divorce. She appealed that while she has managed both nursing her husband and raising their children, she herself has received no comfort, a pain that has spread to the entire family. Adding to the tragedy, the couple's 18-year-old daughter personally applied for the broadcast after witnessing the conflict between her parents.

In the episode of tvN STORY's 'Lee Ho-seon's Counseling Center' aired on the 20th, a wife appeared stating she wants to part ways with her husband, who is fighting cancer. Now in her 19th year of marriage, the wife described her current married life as "hell." She explained that she has managed the entire process of her husband's treatment as he moved between hospitals for various conditions, including rare diseases, bile duct cancer, and cellular cancer. As the husband's struggle with illness lengthened, an unbearable weight accumulated in both the wife's body and mind.

The wife poured all her energy into preparing meals for her husband's health. She prepared healthy meals three times a day using homemade natural seasonings, preparing separate meals for her husband and her children. Food photos revealed during the broadcast showed the wife's efforts to protect the family's health. However, what the wife truly wanted to hear from her husband was not a grand reward, but a short word of thanks acknowledging her hard work. She confessed that she has never once heard the words "thank you" from her husband.

The wounds sustained during the caregiving process were also deep. The wife stated that even when she said, "I'll help you," she felt ignored by her husband. For instance, when she tried to assist him while he went to the bathroom, he would raise his hands to prevent her from grabbing his arm. As these repeated rejections of her attempts to help him accumulated, her resentment and anger grew. She revealed that she had wondered, "Why am I living like this?" and had told her husband that they might be better off living separately, fearing they would only continue to be unhappy if they lived as they were.

While the wife shed tears, unable to control her emotions, the husband maintained a relatively calm demeanor while explaining his health status. He stated that although he has undergone 16 rounds of chemotherapy, his condition has worsened slightly, yet he continues his treatment. Even when facing the same situation, the pain experienced by the patient and the family member providing care can manifest in different ways. While the husband's illness brought physical pain and anxiety, the wife faced a combination of the burden of caregiving and emotional isolation.

What made this family's story even more heartbreaking was the fact that the person who applied for the counseling was not the couple, but their 18-year-old daughter. The couple has an 18-year-old daughter and an 11-year-old son. The daughter, watching her parents' relationship deteriorate, directly requested help through a program her mother frequently watches. The daughter's situation was revealed as she worried that the conflict between her parents might be her fault, feeling anxious as she had to watch both her sick father and her exhausted mother's tears.

The atmosphere grew more sorrowful as both the wife and daughter wept during the broadcast. Lee Ho-seon, who led the counseling, comforted the daughter, who had been going through a difficult time amidst the family conflict. Given that issues between a couple do not end with just the two of them and can deeply affect the emotions of their children, what this family needed was not a process of assigning responsibility for the conflict, but a process of properly looking into each other's pain.

The husband promised to hug his wife and daughter every day and say, "Thank you, I love you." Attention is focused on whether this promise can serve as a starting point for restoring the relationship for a family exhausted by long-term illness and caregiving. While loving is required to care for a sick person, the caregiver also needs comfort and consideration. Along with the husband's treatment, the tasks remaining for this family include looking after the wife's heart and conveying to the daughter, who views the parents' conflict as her own fault, that she bears no responsibility.

Read the original (Korean)