“Why couldn't I endure it?” Lee A-hyeon reflects on three marriages and regrets over first husband

Actress Lee A-hyeon, having navigated the ups and downs of life through three marriages and divorces, has shared her honest feelings regarding her first marriage, which has remained in her heart for the longest time. Confessing her shortcomings and her apologies toward her former partner—realizations that only came with the passage of time—she shed tears while asking, “Why couldn't I endure it?”

On the 5th, a video was released on the YouTube channel ‘Saeropge Hasoseo,’ featuring Lee A-hyeon as she spoke candidly about her life as an actress, her three marriages and divorces, and her journey of building a family by adopting two daughters.

Reflecting on her life during the appearance, Lee calmly stated, “I have been married three times and am currently single.” She did not hide the personal pain and moments of choice that existed behind her glamorous image as an actress.

The first thing she recalled was her first marriage, which took place at the young age of 26.

Looking back at herself at that time, Lee said, “I was the type of person who made decisions very quickly. He was a very decent person, but after getting married and living together, there were differences in our personalities. I was young and my thinking was shallow.”

She explained that at the time of the marriage, she did not know how to accept their differences. Once small differences began to catch her eye, she would focus only on those issues, concentrating on his unchangeable traits rather than his strengths.

In particular, Lee described her first husband as “a kind person,” turning the reflection back toward her own personality.

“If one thing I didn't like came up, I would keep thinking only about that,” she confessed. “I think my personality was fiery and impatient.” At the time, her emotions and judgments preceded her understanding of her partner, and the relationship eventually led to the conclusion of divorce.

However, as time passed, her perspective changed.

Watching recent dating programs, Lee said, “I realized that everyone has shortcomings, and living together is ultimately a process of enduring those differences.”

She then cautiously revealed, “If I met him as the person I am now, I don't think I would have divorced him.”

While she was considerate of his position, noting, “He might think differently,” she expressed deep apology, saying, “I wonder if he might have been someone who could have lived a simple, good life if he hadn't married me.”

Her voice, which had been continuing the story calmly, eventually wavered.

“I think I am okay now, but when I talk about the old days, it feels like I am returning to my younger self, so I cry,” Lee said. Although the wounds had healed over the years, feelings of regret and apology for her past choices still remained.

The circumstances during her first marriage were also not easy. Following the marriage, her broadcasting activities decreased due to the aftermath of the foreign exchange crisis, leading to economic difficulties. The gap in her career as an actress, realistic burdens, and the weight of married life that she had to shoulder at a young age all arrived at once.

After eventually ending her marriage and returning to her parents' home, Lee had to live in the same room she used during her high school years.

Recalling those days, she said, “Every dawn when I opened my eyes, I would cry and pray.” She recalled the desperate moments, saying, “I told Him to help me because I didn't know how to get through this time.”

She said that while praying made her feel a little more at peace, the cycle of breaking down upon returning to reality repeated itself.

Later, Lee experienced two more marriages and another separation, and she created a new meaning of family by adopting two daughters. Her life was not smooth, but through that process, her perspective on people and relationships deepened.

If one looks only at the numbers of three marriages and divorces, her life might look like a record of failure and wounds. However, the story Lee shared that day was not a confession blaming the past.

The question “Why couldn't I endure it?” was both a regret toward her first husband and a belated understanding of her younger self.

There are things that can only be seen as time passes. That love is not about finding a perfect person, but a process of growing together while enduring each other's shortcomings. Lee confessed that she only realized this fact after passing through the long stretch of time.

Her tears were not mere regret, but the reflection of a person who has finally become able to look back fully at a past relationship.