Youn-a: My child became the center of my life after childbirth

Youn-a, a model and broadcaster active in Japan, has candidly opened up about the extreme parenting anxiety she experienced after childbirth, the resulting strain on her marriage, and her transition to co-parenting following her divorce. Her story, which explores the universal themes of parental psychological shifts and the restructuring of marital relationships, has resonated deeply with viewers.

Appearing on the TV Asahi variety program 'After My Husband Sleeps' broadcast on the 14th, Youn-a spoke sincerely about how her life changed after giving birth.

"I went through a very emotionally unstable period for about three years after childbirth," she began, recalling, "Before that, I lived thinking only about work, but after the baby was born, all my priorities shifted toward my child. It was to the point that people around me were worried."

In particular, Youn-a recalled how her daily life was restructured entirely around parenting due to excessive worry for her child.

"If I anticipated the child might wake up around 3 AM, I would wake up at 2:30 AM to be ready," she said, adding, "The thought that I had to do something for him before he started crying never left my mind." It was as if a sense of responsibility bordering on obsession—the need to react before the child cried—dominated her daily life.

She confessed that these changes naturally affected her relationship with her husband.

"There were times we went on dates to spend time as a couple, but the mere thought of leaving the child to eat out kept weighing on my mind," Youn-a explained. "My husband wanted time for just the two of us, but I could only think about the child, and in that process, our hearts began to drift apart."

She also revealed that she could not easily let go of her anxiety toward her child even during the process of adjusting to daycare.

"While the child was adjusting to daycare, I kept peering into the center through the window," Youn-a said. "The homeroom teacher advised me, 'The mother's anxiety is being transmitted directly to the child. This might be why your son is the only one crying while the other children are not. It would be better for you to go home and spend some time for yourself.'"

She added that these experiences served as an opportunity to realize the impact a parent's emotions can have on their child.

Parenting experts explain that excessive anxiety and tension from parents can affect a child's emotional stability and attachment formation. However, they emphasize that the degree and cause of psychological changes experienced by parents after childbirth vary greatly by individual, and one should not conclude or generalize a specific psychological state based solely on such experiences.

Youn-a also calmly looked back on her life, which included two marriages and divorces.

She married a Korean man in 2009 but divorced in 2013, and remarried a Japanese businessman the following year in 2014. She gave birth to a son in 2016, but announced her second divorce in 2023, during her ninth year of marriage.

She stated that she currently maintains a smooth relationship with her ex-husband and continues co-parenting.

"Since my ex-husband lives nearby, the child spends time with his father on weekends," Youn-a said. "I think we are actually on better terms now. As we no longer need to demand things from each other, the relationship has become much more comfortable."

Her confession is being viewed as more than just an explanation for her divorce; it prompts a reconsideration of the psychological shifts parents undergo after childbirth, the balance of marital relationships, and the meaning of co-parenting where parents cooperate for the child's sake. In particular, the process of finding a balance between parental roles and personal life is drawing interest as an example of the diverse forms of modern families.